Television. For Kids?

It’s been a rough February over here at Casa Carrigg Cancel, for one of us in particular: the small one. Caralena started off the month with the usual winter-in-New-England cold’n'cough combo. That got super-sized into a double ear-infection with fever, and it was all capped off by the appearance of the annual Vomit Comet — which, at that point, was really adding insult to injury.

Along with school absences, midnight laundry sessions, and trips to the store for more popsicles, there’s been another big side effect of illness: We have watched more kids’ TV in the past few weeks than we usually watch in many months.

And when I say “we,” I do mean both of us; when my kid is sick, she does not want me out of her sight. Together, we watched the good, the bad, and the ugly — everything from “WordGirl” and “Martha Speaks,” to “Dora the Explorer” and “Go, Diego, Go!,” to “The Fresh Beat Band,” a show that on a never-ending loop could possibly be an alternative to waterboarding.

As the days went by in a blur, I found myself wondering things like: Did Laurie Berkner specifically choose those phenomenally dorky back-up singers so that she would seem vaguely cool? Does anyone else think that a character named Handy Manny sounds like he needs to register with the local police department? Where are Max and Ruby’s parents? And, did the sloth from “It’s a Big, Big World” just smoke a big, big fatty?

More importantly, though, I observed that while there are some really good shows for kids in the say, under-six-or-seven-year-old range, there seems to be nothing of value for kids as they get older. Why do we go from truly quality options for younger kids (“Little Bear” is a sweet show, and I haven’t even mentioned “Sesame Street!”) to All Sponge Bob, all the time?

Maybe you’re shaking your heads, thinking, “You pathetic excuse for a parent! Get rid of that idiot box! Don’t let your kid watch all that crap!” Well, for the record, I don’t plan to let her watch those yucky Disney shows where slack-jawed girls look horrified as they say things like, “Wait — you mean I just signed up for a book group?!” (I now make a point of pausing on the Disney channel if I am flipping through the channels and I swear it is always a joke like this. I also heard one girl say something like, “No wonder smart people are so grumpy!”)

But if you’ve read any of my previous posts you must know me at least a little by now. Dig it: I am an “Everything in moderation” kind of girl. So, I have got to believe that there’s a middle ground, somewhere between a Hannah Montana marathon and killing my television.

And furthermore, I like my television; it’s where I watch shows like “Top Chef,” “Modern Family,” and, lately, the Olympics. I have no problem with Caralena watching some TV at the end of a day that’s been filled with school and friends and learning and fun.

I know that as kids get older there is homework and after-school activities and less time for TV anyway, but even if you only allow your child to watch a show on Saturday evenings, it’s still an issue if there is nothing but total crap to watch.

So, I ask those of you with older children, is there really nothing out there? There is PBS Kids and Noggin’ for the younger set; how can there not be a station for the slightly older kids? (Please don’t say Disney — are we really okay with that being the only option?) Why does PBS not have shows for the slightly older kids and tweens?

Am I being grossly naive; is the answer that there is no station because, without commercial advertisers, it could not exist? Has anyone ever experimented with a model that would charge for quality kids’ programming without commercials? Am I the only one who would pay for that? Or do your older kids just watch movies?

Or did you get disgusted and actually get rid of your television? Who knows, maybe I’ll end up doing the same. For now, it’s back to our regularly scheduled February. I hope it will be illness-free from here on out. I can’t take any more of “The Fresh Beat Band.”

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The Big Purge

First off, do not fear — the Big Purge in question is not preceded by a food binge. I’m talking the purging of stuff, and I am obsessed. “Hoarders” is so 2009; I am currently shopping around my brilliant reality show idea: “Purgers.” (I may rethink that name.) It will feature me, at my computer, as I list items on ebay, Craig’s List and Freecycle, as well as my trips to Mailboxes Etc to ship various items. I smell daytime Emmy!

Looking back, I spent much of my 20s and 30s amassing stuff. It started with parental hand-me-downs of couches and pots and pans, and continued with wedding gifts. Once I moved into a house with an attic it was all over; I don’t think I threw away anything for the next eight years. I’m not talking mementos like photo albums or my wedding dress. More like…well, boxes of totally outdated computer manuals, for example. Rolls of promotional movie posters from when my dad owned a video store. A huge (and weirdly pornographic-looking) electric back massager. A broken antique dress form. About 8000 cassette tapes. And much, much, much more. The thing about the attic is, it’s the attic. You can just shove stuff up there, shut the door, and not deal with it!

Until you have to deal with it. When we decided to move from that particular house, my husband worked long hours and I was in charge of packing, while at home with a non-sleeping infant. During one of her rare naps, I wandered around in the attic, so sleep-deprived and so, so freaked out. What was all this stuff? Apparently, it was ours, but then why hadn’t we needed any of it in the three years we’d lived there?!

In the end, I had to hire some guys to help me throw most of it out the attic window into a pick-up truck and haul it away. Somewhere north of Boston there is a landfill with my name on it. That’s the bad news. The good news is, I vowed to never let that happen again. Years later, I’ve stayed true to that promise. See? Sometimes OCD can work to your advantage — you just have to be compulsively obsessed with the right things!

In my current house there is, literally, nothing in the attic. Okay, that’s because there’s no real floor up there, but there’s also very little in the basement, where there is a floor. The garage, I will admit, could use some work — but it’s nothing to be ashamed about, and nothing I can’t handle with a spring yard sale or freecycle session. Ooh, I think I will begin my Ode to Freecycle now.

If you are not already on freecycle, I encourage you to check it out. It makes so much sense. The basic premise is that you have things you don’t want but someone else might want, so instead of throwing things into the landfill, why not offer them up?

Signing up is a bit clunky (it’s all volunteer-run) but once you’re in, all you do is send an email to your local group, stating what the item is. Hours, if not minutes, later you will have replies from people who are willing to come pick it up, whatever “it” is — or you can meet them somewhere if you don’t want people at your house.

A few of the items I’ve given away recently on freecycle: an orange cone (like for road work), an old wallet, a bar stool, a dog crate, some men’s dress shirts. Someone is coming today to pick up a clock radio I bought at Target years ago and then didn’t like and put in a closet and found this morning.

Sure, I could put this stuff on ebay or Craig’s List, but then I would have to take photos and write good descriptions and ship things, and I’d probably end up with $30 in the end. We all know that time is money. And no one ever complains on freecycle, because it’s free.

You can also request items, which I never thought I would do but did just this morning. What made me change my mind? I asked myself, Why would I buy more plastic Littlest Pet Shop figures when, surely, there’s someone local whose kid has outgrown theirs? If I’m not happy with the free ones for whatever reason, I can always put them back on freecycle.

Other items I’ve recently seen requested: a composter, Diego party decorations, wooden shutters, women’s ice skates size 8, and a waffle iron. Ya know, I think I had all of that in my old attic.

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